THE CHILDREN OF OUR FUTURE

Enjoy Me and My Big Family Merdeka Holiday

Puasa...

Alhamdullilah......everyone in my family fasting well....

As we all getting ready for raya and the arrival of newborn.......i begin to wonder......if i have raise my daughters well.

lately i have a chat with Shearaz about how we going to raise the 3 little turkey - Amira, Atiqah and Alexandrea............it will be maximum headache to raise three girls.

i know amira and atiqah is very excited about the newborn.... but nevertheless i don't want to take their feeling for granted.....Shearaz think the girls should not be jealous simply because they have grown.....Is this right?

OF COURSE NOT......i still remember when i was young.....there is a big aged gap between me and my siblings. My brother above me was 18 years old when i was born. I did not have a good childhood or to be exact teenage life.

My sibling hate me so much.....simply because i got everything i want....from toys, book,computer,holiday and many more.......well during their time....my parents was poor but when i was born things has change.....

Example my sister had her second child when i was 9 yrs old.....i still remember how she actually torn all my clothes and toys simply because she feel jealous as during her time she did not have all these items and she also use to force me to eat chilli- A LOT.......

My mum used to give me present and hide them simply because she don't want my sister to get offended.....what to bejealouse and offended about?...she is marriend....and WORSE OF ALL - my mum always ask me to say sorry even when i didn't do anything wrong. For her I'm the youngest one so i should say sorry and accept everything......Is this fair?......If i know i have to be treated this way i wouldn't want to be the youngest child....

For me Shearaz is a perfectionist in raising a child. He want the children to be superb in Education, active in sport and bla bla bla..... Nothing wrong with that......But Well I'm not the same....not to say education is not important but.....but as a parent we must able to identify the strenght and weaknesses of our children. We should polish their strenght and overcome their weaknesses. Not to perfecting everything.

Remember .....when we were young and we hate our parent simply because they always try to groom us as their protege or achieve their dream?.....How they push us away from them?.....

I don't want that to happen to my children.....i want to teach them a good common sense ....so they can think better and understand what life is all about.....We always wondering why life is the same.....we wake up...eat...shower...go to work and same old things again....worse of all ...we have to accept everything as it is......

That is how our grandparent taught our parent....then our parent taught us...and we taught our kids......WE HAVE LOST THE BIGGEST VALUE IN LIFE - COMMON SENSE......we are now being a follower. What I'm trying to say is - IT DOESN'T TAKE EINSTEIN TO BE PRESIDENT

We hate what our parents did to us.....then, why we did it to our children......We now have the power to change the world by starting with our children.....PARENTS....TIME HAS CHANGE......WE SHOULD CHANGE....ADAPT TO THE NEW SURROUNDING.......

No one can tell us how to raise a perfect child.....we can only hope.....Give them 1kg fish, they will live for a week but if you teach them to go fishing, they will live longer.

Cherish our children and believe in them, they will be ok....we are ok........... right?Cheers.....

TWATTY THOUGHT:

I believe the children of our future....teach them well and let them lead the way....show them all the beauty they posses inside....give them a sense of pride.....and make it easier....let the children laugh.....remind them how we use to be.

Our Love Vs To Sacrifies

hey...

been a while since my last blog....busy busy busy.......having baby soon, moving house,buying new family car, amira having UPSR exam......yeah i guess everything is taken place now....of course this mean that we have to sacrifies more....

we are having baby girl after raya.....CINTA QAIRA ALEXANDRIA.......happy....so excited and nervous at the same time.

Shearaz my hubby is going coo coo.....too stress....need to find more money....pity him to stress until he eat MCDougal( the name of the teddy bear ) hehehe...he

Baby......DONT WORRY THINGS WILL BE OK.....i will make sure of it....love you a lot.......thanks for wanting me...

Amira, my eldest daughter.....She's a good girl just need some spanking now and then.......... She is having her UPSR exam now.....so fast time fly........just hope she will do her best......

good luck girl....love mummy, papa shearaz and atiqah...hope all your dream will come true......look at this picture..... studying...on the bed ....hmmmm

As for atiqah....pity the little girl...not to mentioned that she have to fasting but also have to pick up all the house chores as Amira is having exam.

From cleaning the entire house, make the bed, washing clothes, fold clothes and also do the dishes......bare with it girl just a few day more..... Atiqah is a good girl...she's hardworking and very responsible and reliable.....she will be wonderful

In my family everybody including my kids understand the meaning of sacrifice....at one point we all have to do something in order to let others to shine.....

we have the right values system....people say i run my family military style....true but we all understand the outcome of it....we love each other....

lately I've been reading the firm blogs......interesting......but not for me.....the things that happen behind the scene is really hurtful even though some people think i don't care....of course i care......

one thing i learned from the show is ....there is NO TRUE FRIEND....everybody want to win irregardless how nice is the person to you.....they all want to win and they will do anything to ensure that......

anyway to be honest now im over it.....dont really care anymore.....i kind of stop watching the show for a while....to me things you dont hear or know will not hurt you.....i rather cherish my friendship then to listen what they have to bad mouth me........

well all said and done.....WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE THIS SATURDAY NTV7 8.30 PM......surprised awaiting.....

to all my friends especially LC and the resident of Desa Villa, thank you for all your support.....not to for forget to all my sponsor especially kenko and too little shoppe.....thank you very much for stood and believe in me.....

To my family thanks for all the support and love.....i might not show enough at time but i do love all of you more than myself..........

TWATTY THOUGHT:

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want......

The Little Duck Fuck

(Picture Taken 24th August 2008 at Amcorp Mall Stairway.....Primitive art)

I WATCH THE NEWS AND I GET OFFENDED OVER STUPID SWEARING SESSION....ITS OVER RATED.....

i think all the swearing by saiful bahari is a total rubbish........i think he and anwar stories is the biggest joke for the country............ok this is my theory why he dare to swear in the name of God...

You know how we always twist and walk on the grey line.......ok rubbish talk.....maybe it is true that anwar sodomized him on that particular day.......but from the stories floating.....this is not the first time for those two love bird.....and saiful is not even a virgin......i mean his backside......(this is my own theory based on what i see and heard)

its hard to explain what I'm trying to say....example husband and wife..... everybody think that even when the husband forcing the wife to have sex or intercourse, is not raping.....WRONG.....

Every time someone say NO to something......the other party is actually breaching the privacy of his/her territory......... husband and wife might have sex for almost 20 yrs but the moment she say NO then the intercourse has now change to be RAPE

Simple right.....

Rape, sometimes called sexual assault, is an assault by a person involving sexual intercourse with or sexual penetration of another person without that person's consent.

that is the reason why i believe saiful dare to swear and irregardless what is his attention......i believe he is using religion as a political playground......

nobody is plain genuine in their interest.......everyone of us always hoping something in return irregardless for this life or life after death......

i do feel sympathy for saiful....but he is a man who is more then capable of taking care himself........stop all the crying and whimping...... grow up.....YOU HAVE BEEN SODOMIZED......accept the fact....why is the need of dranging the religion into this.....BUT I ACTUALLY DONT MIND HIM SWEARING THAT HE NEVER BEEN ARSE FUCK BEFORE.....(i know im bad but he such a baby) .......

and anwar....if he really do it.....then by all mean please somebody....anybody cut his wiener off..... so that he can actually focus in politic and help us to revive the country......

whether i like it or not.......he is still a better candidate compare to the current choice we have....... it is so sad loking at our political situation at the moment.....i dont understand why is Pak Lah still dont put a proper full stop into all this nonsense....what a disgrace for our country.....i dont care who play this stupid games....who will benefit from it....all i care is why are all these people who have the power did not stop all this nonsense at once......

so i believe this is the situation........hope you guys understand my weird theory.....

TWATTY THOUGHT:

SEX IS THE PRICE WOMAN PAY FOR MARRIAGE......MARRIAGE IS THE PRICE MEN PAY FOR SEX..........SODOMIZED IS THE PRICE MANKIND PAY FOR SORE ARSE AND BETTER POOPING SESSION.........

DONT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN A LARGE GROUP........

Selfish - TO BE OR NOT TO BE

MY FAMILY

(Taken 070707 Cemetery Opposite Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka)

Hola,

Yesterday i attend the wrap party with my follow contestants......good to see them.....i guess.......
we talk....and talk ................hmmmm


Anyway.....some of my friend was actually commented on my last blog....how much they enjoy it......so I'm going to include bits and pieces from the old to the new......only now i will used less of those vulgar words....hehhehe


life is wired and funny......some of us think that is not right to be selfish...but other think that we should be selfish in order to survive.....


when it come to relationship and friendship.....do we really have to be selfish???????.....my self.....i know I'm very hard to handle.....I'm extremely stubborn.... sensitive..... emotional and many more......I AM VERY SELFISH WHEN IT COME TO MY FEELING..........(I think now I'm on reality show -the whole Malaysia know)


With me is WHAT YOU SEE, IS WHAT YOU GET.......I'm honest in my opinion and i will always tell the truth on what i think.....people who do not appreciate the truth....simply people who don't deserve my views or comment......

Sometime people get offended on certain words that been said......but if you are a true friend....then you know words are only words......it don't mean a thing.....we are the one that translate it and decide whether its hurt or not.


Human are human....we always make conclusion on what we seen.....so what if I'm being vain and cocky on the outside....its a tough world out there.....if i don't stand high then i will be lost in the crowd.......

But again these are the survival technic....you must project the image of being tough and have the confident in yourself in order to succeed......


In every inch of our self there is beauty....the inner beauty......we should be discovering and appreciating the inner beauty rather then the outer......We always take consideration on the physical and the attitude shown....but never we want to take the extra mile to learn what is the true beauty......what is inside of a person..... but again it is easy to remember to ugly side of people then the good side of it.....


When you want to give......you should give and hoping nothing in return.....give with your heart....and its should be unconditional........you love someone.....and you do because of that......not because we hoping someday in future we will get what we want.....


i think I'm very much a giver.....i sacrifices a lot in life for other people .....when i give i never mentioned......and hoping......just because we don't mentioned it...it doensnt mean that we don't GIVE????......but again who am i to judge my own deeds.....

TWATTY THOUGHT:

YOU HAVE NOT LIVED A PERFECT DAY,EVEN THOUGHT YOU HAVE EARNED YOUR MONEY, UNLESS YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE WHO CANNOT REPAY YOU.............

MALAYSIA BACKWARD

I love reading books.......i can sit hours and hours at book store browsing and reading books....... but i don't fancy book store in Malaysia......

As Malaysian our knowledge has been restricted by our government on what we CAN OR CANT SEE,...HEAR....TASTE.... ..and so on........

For a country who have been bitching around about moving forward....hmmmm .....i think our government is extremely old school.....for them to prevent is simply by banned. They don't even want to give us the society the benefit of doubt that we can differentiate between good and bad...right and wrong.....

By still by banned most things..... the government is actually making a statement that we Malaysian is stupid and not Independence.

Example: we all gonna have sex sooner or later. aight....then why sex book is ban in Malaysia.......why as a teenager we are not allow to read this kind of book......if they gonna do it might as well teach them the right way.....aight

Condom.....we can even show the condom add on tv.....i think condom is good to reduces and prevent abortion and increase our quality of living......EVERYBODY KNOW.....THAT EVERYBODY IS HAVING SEX....But why sex is still a taboo topic......

we cant blame or ban the book just because we think its gonna give bad idea or influences......GET REAL...........what we should do is...... increase the moral level and taught our kids to learn how to differentiate between what is bad and what is good....in another word...taught them how to used their common sense......everything must start from school and home.....as a parent...we should learn how to give them the trust and we must show them the respect especially in decision that they make......let them make the decision.....

as parents...we cant be with them forever....but we can always let them know that we will always be there for them when they need us......if they don't make mistake they wont know.....NO PAIN NO GAIN

not just book...even movies...they cut some romance and violence part......but still teenage now days are fuck up.......have u ever considered that its all started when they were young not when they were a teenager.....CARTOONS are the start of everything...of course everybody will say that cartoon is not real....but u were kids...everything is real....

example....popeye-how two guys fight over a girl.....doraemon....how kid start bullying others, power ranger - just ask the kid to fight and they start doing all this power ranger style... and many more(maybe my example is bad...i cant think right now...but u know what I'm saying)....

to prove that cartoon give a big impact in our life.....- take example of CINDERELLA....- every girl when they grow up they want to have a wedding and ending like a Cinderella...happily ever after...knowing its only a cartoon.....we all want to have a romantic life and passionate kiss like what we saw in Cinderella not in You Got Mail Movie...or Pretty Woman Movie (my example is really bad)

and do u remember about 10 years ago they ban all this sleeping beauty...cinderella.....and many more cartoon or even movies that have a step mom character...why...simply because....every time the kids heard about the father is going to remarried ....they keep on thinking how cruel and mean a step mom can be just like in the cartoon......and they start crying and got scared.....even until now.....


what I'm trying to say here is ...it is not the movie that we watch today that will make us tend to do nonsense thing...but what we saw when we were young...of course now some of us will be smart enough to tell which one is real and which one is not...coz we have experience it in life.......

by the way...have u seen the teacher that taught the kids in school???70% are useless......they barely can speak english....no self confidence.....u know what more pathetic....a standard 1 kids now days have to go to tuition to improve their study.....WHAT IS THIS???......how can a teacher ask the parent to send their 7 years old child for a tuition....they are 7 years old..of course they are stupid that's why we send them to school...TO LEARN.....what a retard......i just don't know how to comment.....


further more......they are very defensive and narrow minded..... how can a teacher be narrow minded????not just teacher...parents too....have u ever wonder why your children refused to talk to u....just simply because you narrow minded....you don't open up yourself to them......u restricted what can or cant be said.....this is how kids end up doing silly stuff coz they end up asking for advise from their friend who more or less have a shit for brain like them....then we as a parent....pretend to be shocked when shit hit the fan.....

most kids in Malaysia are SPOON FEED....what i mean is....THE PARENTS AND THE TEACHERS IS TELLING THEM WHAT TO THINK..... it is amazing how when we were young we always hate how our parents treat us but now we treat our kids the same why the do to us....SUCKER FOR PUNISHMENT.......

as an adult we should let our kids explore their own mind and pls...pls...pls encourage them to think...don't give them the solution every time they ask for it....force them to think......let them used their own brain.....teach them to be responsible.


by doing so we might have better chances of producing quality people instead of quantity.......this will not just improve our society but also improve our economy.....before i forgot.....who come with a theory that by having more children....god will give u more luck....rezeki lagi murah......sorry to say this....THAT IS PLAIN BULLSHIT.......60 to 100 years ago maybe people believe that .... but not now.....

do u guys know why they say u have more fortune or murah rezaki???its simply because when parents are having more kids.....normally they will motivated themselves to find more money in order to provide a living for the family... but sad to say that some people think that god going give them more money (especially the lazy fucker) just because they have a new baby.....the money wont come just by making babies....if that is the case believe me.....most of us will just sit home and fuck.....

i read a case which happen in France about 7 years ago.....where the child is suing the parents for letting him to be born knowing that he will suffer due to physical disorder.....this also effect his emotion.... can u believe this...???? i do.. and i agree.. of course there are two way of looking at things....but if u cant provide a life for all these children then why u want to make them suffer....
when they become a criminal who do we blame.........they live hard life and suffer sometime....but do they have a choice....do parents even consider if they want to be born in this environment.....

I'm not encouraging abortion here...what I'm saying is don't let others suffer for ur own pleasure......sometime we wonder...how can such an innocent and beautiful creatures turn to be a monster....

sometime not everything is worth to be given a second chance......sometime thing is just not meant to be....but some people think that - god give and we have to accept....is that mean that if god give us hard life we should just accept it and live thru it without even trying to improve our life????

but do we ever considered that maybe god want to test us.......to see if we can see what is right and wrong....sometime god give us a hard life but we still fight to survive because we know that's not what he want. god will never want to see us suffer....

as and adult ....we should open up our self...don't be narrow minded.....think ahead....the future.....


There is a book - WILL A GIRL WALKS LIKE A DUCK... i forgot who wrote this book...(will find out later) - if u have a sister or niece or teenager daughter...u should let them read this book....it is a good book for them to read.....its all QnA about date and pre-sex.....they will answer a lot of questioned for them.....about date..first kiss....whether it is right or wrong if the boy touch her on certain part and many more.....good books trust me....

sorry if i hurt some feeling.....but i hope u guys will be an adult who is not narrow minded....and respect others for their opinion even sometime its might sound stupid...... R.E.S.P.E.C.T


TWATTY THOUGHT:

LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS WONDERFUL - LIVE THRU IT.......JUST HOPE THAT IT WILL GET BETTER AS WE GROW......

LOVE....LOVE....LOVE.....SEX

That's my hubby........ahhh.....how sweet....not after married , sour a bit....hehehhe.

When i met my hubby....never thought he will the one.....until he quote "COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO GREAT SEX LIFE" ....then suddenly everything become clear to me that he is the one......hehehhe

Recently i have a chat with friends on the important of sex in relationship.......yeah...yeah...yeah nothing wrong we us talking about it.......

I know everybody always say that LOVE is not all about SEX......stop being hypocrite.....it does spice up 70% of relationship.

For me, sex (intercourse, make love or whatever you call it) is important. It make me feel safe, appreciated and feel adored. Just by having sex we can make someone feel like a million dollar person.

Maybe for man it does not mean much.......... but for us woman is about love and appreciation....

Even though women dont talk much about it, it does not mean it is not importatnt. In our society sex is still a taboo topic. I must admit at this point i have a tendency to blame it on our education system.


But again whatever it is we cant avoid to think that sex is important......imagine this....our entire generation is depend on sex. Without sex there is no next generation.....furthermore this is what have been decided by god....who are we to questioned it.

SUMMARY - A WOMAN LEAVES A MAN NOT BECAUSE SHE IS UNHAPPY WITH WHAT HE CAN PROVIDE.......BUT BECAUSE SHE IS EMOTIONALLY UNFULFILLED

TWATTY THOUGHT

If i can fuck as much as i can talk....my life will be less stress......but then i will be dead ..... hehehhe

My Stories - Read It

Something to share

17 Yrs Old

• My father died over stroke
• I was force to get married in January by my idiotic brother
• Second day of marriage my husband beat me up
• I got my first daughter - Yang Nur Amira born in November
• during pregnancy i eat egg for almost one month because i don't have money
• I was push down the stairs on my sweet 17th birthday
• Despite all problem i score 10aggregate for SPM

PS: I do not get married because I'm pregnant.

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18 Yrs Old

• My husband continue beat me up - broken tooth, fracture rib and tons of bruises
• I work as cashier at the cafe - morning 7am til 8pm
• I work as cashier at the pub - night 8pm til 3am
• Basically i only sleep 3 hours a day

My husband do not work.....i have to pay the room rent,food and everything else he need including his cigarette and weed. I do all this because i feel guilty.....i believe that my family has ruin his life by forcing him to marry me. Furthermore i don't want to give my brother self satisfaction by manage to ruin my life.

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19 yrs old

• My second daughter was born - Yang Nur atiqah
• My husband still abuse me
• I only work at night as an assistant manager for a pub
• Set up my first food stall with 500 capital - Today i earn net of 5k per month
• Enrol my self to college as i believe this is the only way i can better of my self
• Separate from my husband after he cut me with knife which i got 21 stitches

P/S: it is not easy to walk away when you been abuse....not because we aren't strong.....its hard to explain......you have to be there to know.....talk is easy

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20 yrs old

• Received my diploma - travel and tour
• Proceed with my degree - hotel mgt

Life is still hard as i have to raise my daughters........everybody have to make scarifies in life...i have to split my daughters....one go to my sister and the other go to my in law......break my heart......but i need to stabilize my self.

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21 yrs old

• Got my degree
• Got job offer from Cold Storage as Product Exec
• Meet my second husband

P/S : Begin to stabilize.....i took amira to stay with me

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22 yrs old

• Married again- second husband
• After two month - we are struggling emotionally as he lost a lot of money in business
• Begin to think I'm a jinx
• When to Australia to work and proceed with my MBA
• We separate after two years
• Operation 4 times for ectopic pregnancy - remove one Fallopian tube

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23 -25 yrs old

• Finishing my MBA
• Career was good as i earn almost 5k (AUD) per month almost 12k in ringgit
• Travelling all over Asia -tired
• My mum Past away
• I was Diagnose with cancer - How bad my luck can be

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26-27 yrs old

• After almost 1 year battling with cancer - cure
• New Career - Setting up F&B and entertainment outlet
• in and out relationship - mostly i attract psychopath ....
• Meet my third hubby after 2 month we decided to get engaged
• Found out that atiqah my second daughter was abuse by my first ex husband - kick,punch.....apparently it happen for sometime but my in law refuse to tell me
• Finally manage to take atiqah after been in and out police station and tons of tears

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28 yrs old

• Married to my third hubby
• Planning to open Little Turkey but have to cancel as we have to take out all our saving to help our family member who in so much debt
• Back to zero saving again
• Operation another 2 more time for ectopic pregnancy and removed another tube
• I cant get pregnant anymore ......so sad as i know my hubby will love to have baby

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29 yrs old

• this year ......not end yet
• So far i had operation remove my ovary
• i have high cholesterol too

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i have been

• Abuse as a wife
• single parent raising my daughters
• diagnose with cancer - cure
• I have no Fallopian tube and ovary
• lost all my saving
• married 3 times before 30 yrs old
• I earn my MBA by 25 yrs old
• manage to earn 5 figure salary
• have my own food stall before 20 yrs old

I think i have face quite a bit what life has to offer.....this is before I'm 30 yrs old.....what do you think?